Payton

There’s been a smudge on my living room window for 18 months. It’s not very noticeable until the late afternoon sun streams in. Then, it catches my eye, a smeary imprint left behind by a beautiful, intelligent, brown eyed girl. She used to enjoy standing at that window, eyes gazing outward, alert to all who passed by. When the mailman approached, she’d press closer to the window, touching the glass with her moist nose…hence, the smudge.

Payton was her name. She came into my life as a 6 week old ball of fluff. Being a Rott/Lab/Chow

Payton

mix, she quickly grew into a big girl. Elissa brought her home one afternoon from a horse show and Payton not only claimed our house, but my heart as well. When my daughter married and moved out a year later, Payton stayed with me, by then very much a “momma’s girl”.

I could tell you amazing stories about Payton…how smart and unique she was…how she understood every word I said…how she “talked”….how she learned on her own to barter for goods. Suffice it to say, she was a loyal and fun companion, a beloved member of our family, until old age claimed her April 12, 2007. I missed her deeply…the tail wagging greetings when I came home (yes, she stayed in the house)…the long walks together….her hugs. After her death, I put away the toys and her leash and collar, removed the food and water bowls. Gradually, all visible traces of her vanished from my home. I had pictures, and memories, of course. And that smudge on the window that I couldn’t quite bring myself to windex away. Until last week.

Exactly 18 months, to the day, after she slipped away, it felt okay to remove that last bit of Payton. Never have I washed a window so slowly, so thoughtfully. There was sadness, yes, but joy also as I remembered her. I imagined her sitting there, watching me, tongue lolling out in her doggie smile, her head tilted as she watched me with those wise brown eyes. “It’s okay” she’d say. “You won’t forget me.” The imprint on the window is gone…but her imprint on my heart will remain.

I don’t know if dogs go to heaven….but I sure hope so! What fun it will be to see her there, youthful, strong, bounding toward me eagerly, ready to accompany me on my next great adventure!