My grandson, Dayan, is amazing at seeing the best in others and giving them sincere compliments. I’ve been watching him make people smile and melt hearts since he was old enough to talk. Today’s first, giving sincere compliments to as many people as possible, is inspired by him.
This was a fun experience, and also challenging. Being intentional about giving genuine compliments required a great deal of awareness. Sometimes, it is quite easy for me to move through my day and speak to people without really looking at them. To sincerely compliment others, you must look at them, and as Dayan has shown by example, find the best in them and be unafraid to speak up. I also didn’t want to be “cheesy” or creepy about it, so I attempted to work the compliments into conversations as much as possible instead of tossing them out there.
I had a great time today, watching people, smiling at them, and then offering a simple compliment from my heart. The effect was enchanting. People smiled back. Said thank you. Laughed. Offered a compliment in return. I felt lighthearted, grateful and expansive.
This beautiful quote sums up the day well:
“I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.” Steve Maraboli
My first new experience for this year was setting off fireworks at 12:01 am, to usher in 2014. I’ve hugged people at midnight, I’ve banged pots and pans, I’ve toasted the new year. I’ve never set off fireworks. I’m very mindful of neighbors and city policies and of being “good”, of not doing anything to bother anyone. I’m nice. And there is nothing wrong with being nice! And yet being nice and being overly concerned with what other people think can be very restrictive. I can’t tell you how fun it was to run outside, light a string of lady fingers and shout “Happy New Year” as they exploded! A sparkler finished off my new experience. Welcome 2014, indeed!
A few years ago, friends invited me to watch a movie with them at the theater. Arriving a few minutes late, I swung open the door after the movie had started and crept down the darkened corridor. It was really dark! I stood at the top of the stairs and waited for my eyes to adjust, knowing my friends were saving me a seat and watching for me to arrive.
I could hear the movie….but straining into the darkness, hoping for a brighter scene to illuminate the theater, I couldn’t see a thing! Total blackness.
Finally, after several minutes, I realized something wasn’t right and tentatively reached out my hand. I was standing inches away from a black, fabric covered wall! I was still in the corridor and hadn’t even reached the theater yet.
I had a choice to make, once I realized I was staring at the wall…take action and continue moving until I reached my intended goal of enjoying the movie with friends. Or, I could stay there staring blankly ahead into darkness, grumbling about my misfortune. “This always happens to me. I go to the movie theater but never get to watch the show. I must be doing something wrong. I guess I’m just not meant to watch a movie.” When the lights came up after the show, I could have looked around, asking those filing out if the movie was any good, wishing I had been a part of that fortunate crowd. Or, I might have looked around to see if there were others like me, standing, staring at the wall. We could form a group of those-who-never-quite-make- it-into- the- theater and commiserate with each other.
Laughable, yes. And yet, isn’t life like that sometimes? You are moving purposefully toward some desired goal….and then find yourself stopped, staring at a wall, wondering what is going on! Inaction can take hold and keep you stuck, immobile. You dreamed of traveling to Spain this summer and then circumstances shift, time slips away, you lose your momentum and find yourself resigned to stay at home another year. When we find ourselves stalled in the journey, discouragement can creep in. It’s easy to feel resentful of others who appear to be enjoying what we hoped to achieve for ourselves. The adage ‘misery loves company’ can cause us to seek out others who are stuck also and find some comfort that we aren’t the only ones missing out.
Mike Dooley, author of “Leveraging the Universe” says “Our words are simply our thoughts with enough intensity built up over time that they’ve actually rolled off our tongues. Our actions, too, are no more than our thoughts with enough intensity built up that they’ve thrown us into motion.” Action puts us back in control and moving toward that which we most desire. And life is drawn to a body in motion.
Baby steps are better than no steps at all. Can’t travel to Europe this year? Travel somewhere, even if it’s only a local resort town for the weekend. Buy those travel books on Spain. Learn phrases in Spanish. Get your passport. Your actions show your intention of accomplishing your goal. Keep moving in the direction of your dream and that trip will materialize, at the perfect time.
I made a choice that day at the theater. After laughing loudly at myself, I moved down the hallway and into the room. The movie played brightly before me. And there were my friends, waving from a few rows down. It was a good movie! And a good life lesson to learn.
Keller Williams Realty of SW MO
I want to remind you how powerful you are, and how powerful your words are. Words are energy. They show others how we perceive ourselves and our world. They embody our thoughts.
Because of that power, we must speak in terms of what we want in our lives instead of what we don’t want.
The two most powerful spoken words are, “I am….”
When we follow those words “I am….” with words such as “tired”, “stupid”, or “overwhelmed”, our reality shifts to make is so. Shift the words, shift the reality. Say instead, “I am…..energized….brilliant….accomplishing so much.”
Start your day off with “I am running late.” And you will be, all day long. Shift to “I am arriving at the perfect time.” And you will be, all day long.
We become great by thinking great thoughts, and expressing our thoughts with words, emotions, and actions.
This is our reality check: Want to know how you are doing with your thoughts and words? Look at what’s in your life right now, at this moment. You’ve created this reality.
If you look at your present reality and say “Yes!”, that’s wonderful! Keep going. If you say, “Oh no…” then shift. Start with your thoughts and watch your world change to match them. You are responsible for creating your own life….make it a great one!
Keller Williams Realty
Real estate is an adventure, isn’t it? Life, actually, is the big adventure and the real estate that I do is a part of that life. Sometimes it feels like a HUGE part. I read a quote recently that says, “Life is a game….a game of boomerangs…because what you throw out will always come back to you.” Our words and deeds can do the same thing….go out and affect people for good or for bad, traveling way beyond our normal reach.
Being positive, kind, aware of others, becomes important since we never know how far those boomerangs will go or the effect they will have or when they will eventually come back around to us. I don’t want to get hit in the head and knocked for a loop by something I threw out there!
My grandson Dayan has been a great teacher in my life, of many things, such as the wonder of the universe, trusting in a greater good, and expressing gratitude. He’s taught me how important it is to not only be aware of other people, but to see the good in people and to speak powerful words into their lives. He understands the boomerang effect and the value of being present, in the moment, with people. He has a gift for saying kind, sincere words to others that are encouraging and uplifting.
He’s almost 13 now…but a few years ago, when he was 8, he was shopping in a large discount store with me. As we stood in line at the checkout, it was obvious our associate, a middle aged woman, was NOT having a good day. The transaction in front of ours didn’t go well. There was grumbling from the customer, then irritation. People in line began to mutter and head to another checkout line. You know how it goes. As it was our turn to check out, I decided the best course of action was to remain silent, have a smooth transaction, and get out of her way asap.
I looked at Dayan and wondered how he could possibly find a kind word to say to this frazzled woman. She had a hard face, full of frown lines, and looked like the frustrations of the day had caused her to run her hands through her hair several times, creating a mess. I was afraid she might snap at Dayan if he tried to be cheery and hoped he wouldn’t say anything. But he was studying her, intently. And suddenly he spoke, just as she was taking my money. “You have such pretty eyes,” he said softly. She froze…and then she melted. I hadn’t looked into her eyes. In fact, I had tried not to look at her at all. Her eyes, which were pretty, filled with tears. She softened. As Dayan lifted our bags of groceries into the cart, she became animated and chatted with him. She came around and hugged him and thanked him for his compliment. She transformed before my eyes. As we left she smiled and told me what a special child my grandson was. I agreed.
I learned from Dayan that day that others matter. Even people having a bad day, especially those having a bad day, can use a sincere word of appreciation. I vowed to treat people who are in service to others, whether they work at a supermarket, a restaurant, or the license bureau, as interesting, hard working people worthy of respect. A kind word is always appropriate. Being aware and present with them takes so little effort most days! Instead of being on my phone or distracted, thinking about the next thing I need to do, I take a moment to be kind.
And what about that boomerang? 10 days ago I listed a property. The seller came as a lead through my website. I contacted her immediately and we set up a time to meet to list her house. As I was talking to her, I asked her how she found me online. She said someone had given her my name and suggested she use me to sell her home. I am always delighted with a referral. “Who gave you my name?” I asked. She laughed and said, “Oh you don’t really know her. She’s a checkout lady at the supermarket. She overhead my husband and me talking about the need to move and she spoke up. She said you are always so kind to her and speak to her as you check out. She knew your name was Cindy and that you worked at Keller Williams. I googled you.”
Thank you Dayan for that valuable lesson! The boomerang came back….and brought with it an opportunity.
Keller Williams Realty of SW MO